Letters 
Comments Off Dear Head
Dear Head,
Before anything else, I want you to know I appreciate you. I appreciate you better than weight loss pills, I think, because those aren’t always reliable — and I even suspect some contain nothing but chalk!
I appreciate you because no matter what the weather, you sit faithfully on top of these frail shoulders, keeping my gray matter in place, holding up my eyewear, growing hair… and all other important things heads are supposed to do.
I know I made things difficult for you, what with the concussions, broken noses, odd nasal ailments, bad haircuts and even worse dye jobs I’ve sustained. I ran you into car doors, cupboard corners, bedroom windows, tree branches, walls, and tables more times than any appendage is reasonably expected to endure. I tormented you 24/7 with sinuses so frayed they make my pambahay shirts look absolutely new! Those sinuses would be a torment to anyone – dripping when they should be dry, making odd clickety noises as the weather changes. I’m sure you remember those three times doctors stuck a camera up my sinuses, just to see why they’re trying to take over the archipelago.
Yes, I appreciate you — but I don’t appreciate my sinuses. They’re always whimpering and whining and post-nasaling and making me look like a female Cyrano Bergerac. Can you have a chat with my sinuses, please, and tell them to stop throwing such horrific tantrums? It’s not helping the two of us any.
Thank you.