Nevergirl’s

• talk to yourself.
• overlook chipped nail polish.
• add espresso shots, instead of hours of sleep, to your life.
• acknowledge that you’re not good at something.
• listen to the same song 10 times in a row.
• admit that you’ve poor taste in fashion, music, and just about everything else.
• say no to things your friends say yes to — drugs, for instance, or cigars, or a party life you don’t even enjoy but feel compelled to be part of anyway, just because. (Curiously, for someone who’s so weak-willed, I’ve never had any trouble shrugging off peer pressure. I rarely go out; I had my first beer really late in life; and I never smoked. I hope that didn’t come off as self-righteous. Believe you me, self-righteous is the one thing that I’m not. I just believe in saying no, and in our right to do so.)
• stare at other girls, and think they’re the prettiest things you’ve ever seen.
• confess that you’re the most physically uncoordinated person you know (which explains why you have bruises the size of a plate on your legs).
• decide that queso-flavored ice cream is pretty much the cure to everything.

Happy Saturday, y’all!

Did I just see a man rush to open the door for the woman he’s with? Aaaaw. What a cute thing to do!

The sight made me so happy I think I spent a good five minutes just sitting there and staring after them with a goofy smile. Never mind that my pretty gold sandals are caked with mud, or that my red dress is sopping wet from the rain. Those two made me forget (for a little time anyway) that I’m sitting inside a mall, mooching off a coffee shop’s wifi and looking like a drowned rat. The woman wasn’t even elaborately dressed. She had on jeans, a white shirt, a jacket that read UP Law, and mbt shoes, but I like that to the boy she’s with, she’s the most fragile thing in the world. I said this before; I’ll say this again: date (or marry) a boy who adores you. Everything else is secondary.

I only buy three things online:

1. dresses
2. gadgets
3. Crest Whitestrips

I lust after gadgets. I shouldn’t because I’m not exactly what you’d call technologically adept. But, this lust is unstoppable. In fact, I look at the deals available every Cyber Monday and lust after the ones I think I need. Thank God I’ve enough willpower left to resist Paypal-ing everything my little heart desires. Shipping (and customs charges) will be the death of my bank account.

Just in case it isn’t clear to you dear people yet, my life goal evolves into becoming any of these three people: Bruce Lee, Audrey Hepburn, and MacGyver.

I can think of a hundred better uses of my time than looking up best franchise opportunities, so to cheer myself up, I’m drawing up another love list. Yeah, yeah. I’ve drawn up so many lists that if we stack them up one on top of the other, I’ve no doubt they’d reach my eyeballs. But, I love lists. They make me happy. Here’s a list of three little things that put a smile on my face.

1. Pearl earrings. 90% of the women I know wear pearl earrings. Nope, we didn’t just meet one day and voted pearls our accessories of choice. It’s coincidence–a happy one at that because I love how pearl earrings effortlessly light up a woman’s face and brings out her best features. I also love that it goes with anything–jeans, shorts, skirts, even the frilliest of dresses.

2. Hoop earrings. Everyone looks good in hoop earrings. They vamp up most outfits. Even pirates look good in hoop earrings. I don’t wear them as much though because for some reason, they ‘slut up’ whatever it is I’m wearing. Because I’m not exactly deprived in the bosom department, I have to be careful what I wear. It doesn’t take much for the outfit of the day to appear sexed up… and for some reason, cleavage and hoop earrings do this only too quickly.

3. Girls in eyeglasses. I have a soft spot for girls who wear prescription glasses. And no, hipster glasses do not count. I like that these girls wear eyeglasses instead of contact lenses. There’s something so quaint, cute, and geeky about horn-rimmed eyeglasses. I like how they make me think the girl wearing them reads. Too few people read these days.

My girl friend Meream rocks prescription glasses like it’s nobody’s business. This is Meream and her new ‘do. Say hello.