Nevergirl’s

I think it’s high time I admit I know nothing about

- buying furniture. I don’t know how to tell which ones are durable; I just point to the cute ones.

- how the stock market works. Everything frazzles me, starting with the terminology.

- hotwiring cars or picking locks, but I’d like to learn both just in case I may someday end up leading a life of crime.

- back acne treatment. But no, I don’t have acne on my back or anywhere else for that matter. I just think it would be cool to be a master on anything and everything.

- cooking, but I feel a strong affinity towards beef, salt, and lemon.

- photography. What I know about cameras and picture-taking can be summed up in one word: smile.

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Do you think you’re too fat? I do. Everyone tells me it’s all in my head, that I’m not fat at all. But this is not true.

I am fat. I know how much I weigh, I know how much I wished I weigh. We’ve a weighing scale near the kitchen, and I weigh myself after mealtimes because yes, I’m masochistic like that.

I don’t know what it is with girls and weight but I keep obsessing about mine. Also, I keep thinking I should keep a stack of weight loss supplements around so I don’t grow to blimp size like I once did. It doesn’t help that I have the appetite of a construction worker, and that I am almost always munching on something. I munch before breakfast; I munch before lunch; I munch in the afternoons while I play with the kids. I’m a muncher extraordinaire. It doesn’t show on my face but it shows in my belly, where it hurts the most. So yes, I eat and eat and then I lament how fat I’ve become. I do not see this changing any time soon, however. I know I can change things – go to the gym, watch what I eat, and all that jazz – but I haven’t done it and I don’t think I will anytime soon. It’s too tough. Just thinking about exercise wears me out. I’m blabbering. I’ll go nap now. Bye.

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The husband caught me looking up www.prenatalvitamins.net and swatted me. “It’s high time you stop obsessing over prenatal vitamins. You’re not pregnant,” he said.

“Aren’t I?”

I swear the look on his face as he gaped at me was pure golden, just golden. But of course I told him I was joking, to save him the coronary. I’m not sure if all men react to being told he will be a father again the same way the husband does. But, I got to tell you, that reaction was simply too cute for me to not to say the same thing again. Hahaha!

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