Nevergirl’s

We had to wake up really early for three days, to be in Alex’s school. The first one was for a general meeting. The second one, for the family day meeting. And the third, for the distribution of grades.

In the early days, I probably would have stressed my way into needing Medicare supplement because I’m a worrywart like that because while getting up at 8am is very much doable – we’ve been getting up at 7:30 am these days, in fact – getting all showered, dressed, and somewhere that other people are is a different story entirely!

I’m grumpy in the mornings, and it’s a matter of principle that I don’t shower so early. Hey, I worked 8 to 5 and 9 to 6 for years! I never had a choice about how I spend mornings. Now that I do, believe you me when I say I take almost fiendish glee in “wearing” my bedhead as long as I could.

Going back to those three mornings when the husband and I had to be at the little girl’s school really early, the 5-year-old morphed into a human alarm the nights before. “You have to sleep early, mom. You’re going to my school tomorrow.” It amused us that she knows us so well. She also gave us a crash course on what her teacher is like. Perhaps she’s worried her old people are absolutely lacking in social graces? Perhaps she thinks we will scare her teacher?

I’m not sure how the rest of you young parents out there are faring in the PTA department. But, in our home, we have a self-declared press relations coach and this little person insists on giving us dossiers of her teachers, her classmates, and her  classmates’ parents.

This explains why I know H’s mom is – to quote my little girl – Japanyukis. Alex had heard the yayas gossiping in the school bus. She thinks Japanyukis is the Japanese word for “mom”. I’m not sure how to correct her. I’m not even sure if I should.

Yay, PTA!

I know sadness is bad for the heart. But, it’s only recently I discovered it’s bad for the finances, too. This week, I went overboard online shopping. I bought a total of 8 dresses and 2 skirts. I don’t know where I will wear them to because I rarely go out. I’m not even sure I still like them, now that I’m just waiting for them to get here.

But anyway, I had to break the news to the husband because I needed him to pay via gcash for me. He’s making a trip there anyway, so he might as well just go up to Globe and do the transaction, right? But we weren’t talking, and it would be odd for me to chat him up because I needed something. So, I emailed him.

Hello,

I’m sorry I shopped so much this week. We’re fighting; I am unhappy.

I’m afraid there’s news that will make you unhappy, too. You’ve to pay for more clothes via gcash tomorrow. I bought 1 dress and 1 blouse (see details in the notepad file).

I’m sorry.

I promise to look for a less destructive outlet.

Maybe show me where the city library is and how to get there? They must have one in this city, right? I will get a library card and spend my unhappy hours reading instead.

Thanks!

I wonder what he’ll email me back tomorrow. It’s a good thing I’m a thrift shopper and aren’t drawn to brands like Cole Haan or Celine. If it had been the other way around, I would now be so eaten up with guilt I just may stop eating so the family can save the equivalent of what I shopped!

Some days, I think I need saving from myself.

The tragic thing about sitting in front of a laptop all day is that invariably, you will be drawn to shops online. It’s a drug, it’s an addiction, it’s a disease… and it’s one I’m helpless to curb. I pine away at dresses I can’t have, and wonder how I would look on them and them on me. Why do I torture myself like this? I’m not sure. Lord knows I don’t get anything from it except fast weight loss. Right now, though, losing weight is the last thing I need. I now weigh 41 kilos, and even I am horrified by how small that is!

I’m staring at these two items right now, and it’s taking every ounce of my strength not to click on the order form.

I have to be practical. I have to be disciplined. We will be moving to the husband’s place soon, and I’ll have nowhere to wear these two to because

1) there’s nowhere to go in his hometown;
2) there’s virtually nothing to dress up for (nothing that would call for this blue and black number anyway);
3) odds are, I’d be the same hermit there as I am here;
4) I have tons of dresses I haven’t even worn yet!

Oh, but these two items look so pretty! And, it’s not helping that I’ve been staring at them for the past two hours – they grow prettier by the minute! Worse, I can imagine how I’d look in these two!

*sigh* Can anyone tell I am fighting a losing battle here?